Chaos Comedian T-Shirts

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'George! This way quick!'

Dog Day Afternoon

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab

'Sunday in the park'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

'John's into 'computer-hacking' in a big way!'

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'