Chaos Comedian Pillows

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

Future garbage truck driver.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

Dog Day Afternoon

'George! This way quick!'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab

'Sunday in the park'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'