Chaotic Caregivers Gifts

'Just another rave in the nursery.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

The modern generation!

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"You've got a lousy bedside manner"

"If it was HIS food dish that was empty... I know I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

"Surely, checking the baby monitor doesn't count toward your screen time."

'Is it contagious, doctor?'

'Open it quick before he suffocates.'

'Hey, Doc, you don't look so good! Why don't you have a seat here and let's have a better look at you.'

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

Girl's playing with dolls

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

40 years later...

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

'I used it to clip the dog. Why?'

Working from home

It's 12 noon, do you know what kind of junk food your kid is being served at school lunch?

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

Top 100 causes of eating disorders...

'My credentials as a nanny? Trust me, I have a lot of experience in raising kids...'

Low battery. 10% of battery remaining

Nurse draws on patient's cast