Chaotic Caregivers Gifts

'Just another rave in the nursery.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

The modern generation!

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"You've got a lousy bedside manner"

"If it was HIS food dish that was empty... I know I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

"Surely, checking the baby monitor doesn't count toward your screen time."

'Is it contagious, doctor?'

'Open it quick before he suffocates.'

'Hey, Doc, you don't look so good! Why don't you have a seat here and let's have a better look at you.'

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

Girl's playing with dolls

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

40 years later...

It's 12 noon, do you know what kind of junk food your kid is being served at school lunch?

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

Working from home

'I used it to clip the dog. Why?'

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

Top 100 causes of eating disorders...

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

'My credentials as a nanny? Trust me, I have a lot of experience in raising kids...'

Low battery. 10% of battery remaining

Nurse draws on patient's cast