Chaotic Family Coordinator Gifts

'Open it quick before he suffocates.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"The meeting will come to order."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Here and There Trays

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Great Therapy!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Bears going water skiing.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

"I need to know who started it."

Riding School Chaos

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"