Ceremony Preparer Gifts

Recorded mating call

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'They call it the people dance.'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

The Aisle

'What, They're comfortable.'

Animals of the Royal Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

Double Wedding

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

"Maybe if we hold her under longer."

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

Christening

SOARING BILL

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

"The bride was radiant, the groom was radiant. I was radiant!"

A bit of serious pantomime. - A message from the Lords.

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

Swearing a Child.

"I do if she does."

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

'Before you get married tomorrow there are some things your father and I would like to tell you.'