Ceremony Planners Gifts

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Margarita

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Not guilty?"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'They call it the people dance.'

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

New Year's Eve party for dogs

The Aisle

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'Well, this is definitely the last time I shake a bottle of Champagne before opening it.'

'What, They're comfortable.'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Double Wedding

Biodegradable helium balloons.

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'You add the girl after baking.'

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?'

Beer Cannon

Florist.

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Santa School.

Happy New Year

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

"Rudolph, call the recruitment department - I asked for 'Elvish helpers!'"