Ceremony Coordinator Gifts

'I pronounce you wife and husband.'

The Aisle

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"Not guilty?"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'They call it the people dance.'

New Year's Eve party for dogs

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Eurocopa 2016

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

Double Wedding

A pirate and a bride

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Happy New Year

'Finally, I'd like to thank the bridesmaids...wait a minute: wrong speech!'