Ceremony Joker T-Shirts

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'He does.'

Graduates on their phones

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Marriage Returns

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

RETIREMENT VOWS

"I now pronounce you guilty."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

Anger Management Class: Gone berserk, back in one hour.

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

Rolling the red carpet before and after the important man

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

"I just saw my wife here, so I'd like some reassurance this is actually Heaven."

Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.

'Hold everything! -- My left brain just kicked in!'

"It's just a precaution, we've had a few close calls lately."

Why Pilgrims wore so many buckles...

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

"I hired out a double for this bit."

"Wait a minute. Doesn't he have to sign a formal surrender document or something?"

"Please turn off your GPS!"