Ceremony Critic Gifts

Mayor Gojo presents a keycard to the city to celebrity.

Rolling the red carpet before and after the important man

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Graduates on their phones

'He does.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'What, They're comfortable.'

Animals of the Royal Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

Double Wedding

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Marriage Returns

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'He left me five minutes after he got his new National Health glasses.'

RETIREMENT VOWS

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

Christening

"Why Bingo Sinclair is the world's greatest clown director"

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

"I now pronounce you guilty."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

"I've seen it performed many times, but I can't remember ever sleeping through it so peacefully."

Swearing a Child.

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

"No, of course I don't want you to catch a nasty cold but..."

"The bride was radiant, the groom was radiant. I was radiant!"

A bit of serious pantomime. - A message from the Lords.