Ceremonial Officer Gifts

'AAAAGH! Oh, KNEEL! I thought you said my name - Neil!'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

The Aisle

Beefeater

Conclave.

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

Sabrage

Vicar

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

'Nice to meet you... And I don't use that phrase lightly.'

"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Recorded mating call

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'So what do you do?'

"The bride was radiant, the groom was radiant. I was radiant!"

"Funny Uniform!/Funny Hat!"

An awkward moment during the coronation...

A bit of serious pantomime. - A message from the Lords.

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

"Canon, I'm afraid the time has come for you to be fired!"

'Ah - Mr. Figgs - you used to work for that bank - anything for the church fete?'

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

'I pronounce you wife and husband.'