Centipede Collector Gifts

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

Strange and exotic creatures that exist on other planets - and ones that exist here on earth.

Monster Baseball

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'Obama's letting all the progress we made in Iraq go right down the drain...He's trying to distract everybody...'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."

"Someday, son, all this crap will be yours."

A centi-stampede.

'You put your third lower left leg in, you put your third lower left leg out, in, out, in, out, you shake it all about...'

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

'That will be $600, thank you...'

Gee, thanks

'Go away. I'm not buying any of your junk.'

'We couldn't locate the fat gene, but we did discover the fat genie!'

'But they get attached to me!'

'The elephant man turned out to be just another Republican.'

'Oooo! Oooo! There it goes again! That unbearable itch inside my shell!'

'Alright, I'll give you a discount...'

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

Rose-colored glasses.

"Some cactuses get all the arms."

'What if I told you I'm a billionaire golf pro?'

Eww..Oh no, it's ok. It's just a hedgehog!

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

Loyal Seconds in the Republican Party

GOP: NO

'Excuse me, ma'am . . . . I believe this is yours.'