Centipede Incarnate Gifts

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

First aid and sculpture

"Love your new tattoo."

A centi-stampede.

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

'Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! Boy I hate hot sand...'

'You put your third lower left leg in, you put your third lower left leg out, in, out, in, out, you shake it all about...'

Baroque

Financing Nemo

'That will be $600, thank you...'

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

"How I deplore this senseless destruction of our historic landmarks!"

"Ooh, we're so impressed."

'Alright, I'll give you a discount...'

"Stop playing around and put it back in you knapsack"

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

"Put your profile pic on HotSquatch.com, what have you got to lose?"

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

'Your boy friend go home yet?'

'Normally, a little conflict like this would be easy to resolve.'

"It's not what I was expecting."

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'