Centipede Incarnate Pillows

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Now open wide and say 'arrrrrrrrr Jim Lad'!'

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

A centi-stampede.

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"Love your new tattoo."

First aid and sculpture

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

Baroque

'That will be $600, thank you...'

Financing Nemo

'Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! Boy I hate hot sand...'

'You put your third lower left leg in, you put your third lower left leg out, in, out, in, out, you shake it all about...'

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

"Ooh, we're so impressed."

"How I deplore this senseless destruction of our historic landmarks!"

'Alright, I'll give you a discount...'

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

"Stop playing around and put it back in you knapsack"

"It's OK, darling - Granny's crying happy tears."

"Put your profile pic on HotSquatch.com, what have you got to lose?"

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

'Your boy friend go home yet?'

'Normally, a little conflict like this would be easy to resolve.'

"It's not what I was expecting."