Census Worker Gifts

'I'm glad to see that you've finally come to your census.'

Insomniacs wanted for sheep census.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'Hello, Census Bureau? Another one of your census-takers fell asleep on our doorstep!'

'And how many are living in this dwelling-enlightened or otherwise?'

'Four million, eight hundred seventeen thousand sixty three... two? Wait... four... wait, oh boy, I probably should have been writing this down.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

The census worker detects trouble at the McDonald farm.

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"Okay . . . Last U.S. census question. Are there any undocumented persons living here. . .?"

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

"There's only me, but if you can wait till Thursday week, there's a bloke in the mail truck!"

"We're just an average family - can you lend me £10 until pay day."

Could you give me a ballpark number?

Census: 'Do you know who I am?'

Ringing a doorbell.

"Hurry up love, or I'll have to put you down as one and a half!"

The Government's New Conspiracy Census.

Census counting illegal aliens.

"He put his religion as lapsed Christian."

First They Came for the Census Bureau

Census Dept. Existentialism

The Milky Way (Detail)

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

The Problem with World Population Growth

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

EU Polling Station

'No reason, other than that fishing relieves stress.'

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

Now You're Talking

First and last day as census taker...