Cemetery Conversationalist Pillows

"I can tell you exactly what he was compensating for."

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

Too Much SOY

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

'I love your bangs.'

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

"Of course we've already had this conversation. There isn't a conversation we haven't already had."

'You give me flintstones. If great light climbs up sky again tomorrow, I keep stones. If great light don't climb up sky, you lose stones.'

"I feel like we're drifting apart."

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

So, what disturbing topic would you like to talk about today, Al? How about your new combover, Doctor?

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'I chase women, but only to tell them about investment opportunities.'

"I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed."

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

Oakland cemetery: moved!

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

Andy Griffith Tombstone.

He was always so sweaty.

"There's a smidgen of Charlie Rose about you."

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

'Tomb of the unkown Scottish goalie.'

Men telling stories

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"Actually, I'm not a New York Yankees fan. I'm a New York Yankees cap fan."

Here lies Rufus J. Tosser. Inventor of the boomerang hand grenade.

"It started with him just talking to it in the garden, now he invites it in for a drink."