Cemetery Comedian Pillows

In a cemetery a man's gravestone reads: Ran Out Of Survival Tips.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"That explains all the cavities."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Have food. Need toilet paper

The game comes first...

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Dead Man's Handel

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

A signaller directing pallbearers

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

O'Leary's Monuments

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."