Cemetery Comedian T-Shirts

In a cemetery a man's gravestone reads: Ran Out Of Survival Tips.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"That explains all the cavities."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The game comes first...

Have food. Need toilet paper

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

Dead Man's Handel

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

A signaller directing pallbearers

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Fisherman Funneral

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

'Why is he always hanging around?'