Funeral Comedian T-Shirts

"...and she leaves behind 30,000 followers on social media."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The game comes first...

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Dead Man's Handel

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

A signaller directing pallbearers

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Fisherman Funneral

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

No caption. (Mimes carry an invisible casket from a hearse).

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

Bug Funerals

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

'I thought new home prices had fallen.'

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

O'Leary's Monuments

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."