Cellular Science Fan Gifts

Stem-cellphone research.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"I'm going to get you fired."

Think Tank

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

Protoplasm

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

"She introduces herself as Drosophila Melanogaster, but everyone knows she's just a common fruit fly."

"I'm trying to cross a hen with a dog. . .For pooched eggs."

Vaccine race

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Cultured Cells/Uncultured Cells

Life in The Halfassic Age

Louis Pasteur Looks Back: "Of course I'm very pleased with pasteurized milk, but naming a wine or beer after me would have been a lot more charismatic."

Electrolyte Orchestra

'We tried crossing a turkey with an octopus to get eight drumsticks, but it didn't quite work out!

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"My discovery may not win a Nobel prize, Edmund. . . but the world can always use a better tasting toothpaste!"

Spooky Chemistry.

The Bacteria Bowl

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'