Cellular Connoisseur Gifts

'Can you hear me now?'

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

A Highly Networked Staff

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."