Cellular Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Can you hear me now?'

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Dialogue

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I'm going to get you fired."

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

A Highly Networked Staff

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'