Cell Decorator Gifts

"The place looks pretty good now, but I don't like the window treatments!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"It's your cubicle, Nelson, not your coop."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Redecorating Easter Island.

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"Love your feng shui!"