Wall Decorator Gifts

'But Mom, every man wants to make his mark on the world!'

No caption (An artist paints a square hole she's sawed out of a wall).

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Use your imagination.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .