Wall Decorator Pillows

'But Mom, every man wants to make his mark on the world!'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Use your imagination.

Painting the Ceiling

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"You're welcome."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Unfinished Funiture Store.