Celiac Savvy Gifts

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'You can laugh all you want, but since I bought this 'GPS' system, I haven't beached myself once!'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. we forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we'd hoped to use died in 1958

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

'Take more vitamins... Well maybe you shouldn't take so many vitamins.'

"I won it for being lice-free."

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

Harper takes steps to ensure Canada's arctic sovereignty.

I'm from Sleepy Hollow and haven't eaten in 240 years."

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'

'I just love these granite counters.'

'I didn't run for class president because I was unsure if your credit rating could stand the scrutiny.'

'Doctor Wilson wants to see you again in three months ... Mrs. Wilson.'

"I want to be put on lifestyle support."

Change Management Seminar Changed to 7th Floor

'Wait 'til the last minute and jump to one side!'

I'll Let You Know When It's a Real Crisis

'Given the medication you're on, Larry, maybe you ought to go home!'

'Principal McWit, I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized last month. Just tell me how many students passed their standardized tests?'

Government to tackle anti-vax movement.

'It may take a few days for your eyes to adjust to bifocals Mrs Reynolds'

'Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse.'

'Men! How many more times? This rock for woollens, middle for cotton and end one for wash 'n' wear.'

'I'm wearing an electronic ankle device. If I take even one step across the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped, they throw me in the slammer.'

"It's official, the back-to-school honeymoon is over."