Celestial Seeker Gifts

'Well, if it isn't, Billy Jones!... I thought you were dead!'

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

Give them another eclipse. The last one actually made them quite for a few minutes!

'Those are just phrases your going through.'

"I started out as an astronomer, but the stars made me feel insignificant."

'We've discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star or just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

"Do you ever wish you'd been a sinner?"

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

My God, I need to fart.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Tiny Visions

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Zenemies.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Needs to get a life"