Celestial Seeker T-Shirts

'Well, if it isn't, Billy Jones!... I thought you were dead!'

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

'Those are just phrases your going through.'

"I started out as an astronomer, but the stars made me feel insignificant."

'We've discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star or just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

"Do you ever wish you'd been a sinner?"

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Zenemies.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

Tiny Visions

My God, I need to fart.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"