Celestial Scholar Gifts

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"Athletic scholarship."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

A man looks up at the earth

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"We've proven, without a doubt, that as the Universe expands our butts look smaller."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

"It's your mother. It's the only way I could get a hold of you. You never answer your phone."

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"First, I storyboarded it."