Celestial Economist Gifts

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

A man looks up at the earth

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

Branson space shot

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

TPP

Valuation of Heaven

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."