Interstellar Economist Gifts

I've been all over the galaxy, and they have the strangest economic system I've ever seen!

Boptimism

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

Branson space shot

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

TPP

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

"B*****d!"

Wind Warning on the moon.

"That's the beauty of it, son. Aliens could come from a far off galaxy without knowing a thing about earth, but they would understand accounting!"

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a gassy planet."

"Our dark energy bill is through the roof, the stores are out of dark matter, and all our strange matter is being recalled! What in great galaxies is going on?"