Intergalactic Philosopher Gifts

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Coronavirus

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

Questions

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Shall we put it in play?"

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

Eviction Notice for Earth...

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"What, then, is theorigin of cosmology? Some say it has always been with us and always will be. Some think it arrived spontaneously, while others feel it started very small and is expanding..."

Doctors without borders, gravity, or air.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds t

'The big bang theory of creation.'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Since I got out here, it seems my mind is like it's in a vacuum."

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

Small laughing space creatures.

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

'I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think I'm living on the wrong planet too.'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

The moon used to be a ghostly, unreachable companion in the night sky. Men and women would gaze at it at night, and its mystery would get them in the mood for lovin'. House of Java . Net Cybercafe. Then NASA had to go louse it all up by sending people there. It took decades of us giving up and abandoning the moon for it to start to seem untouchable again. Just last year, it finally regained its magic ... Then China went and landed on it. I still don't think you can sue China.