Celestial Economist Pillows

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

A man looks up at the earth

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

Branson space shot

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'You needn't of bothered, it grows on trees up here.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

Valuation of Heaven

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

Sell the Universe !

Things will turn around eventually... Meanwhile....