Celestial Punner Gifts

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

The Dark Side of the Moon.

Optometrist practical jokes

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

I must not poop on freshly washed cars!

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'Mars is known as the 'red planet'? Does it have debt problem like ours?'

God Catching Planets