Celestial Prankster Gifts

"It's God. Are you in?"

I must not poop on freshly washed cars!

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Adventures of God

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Om and Ommer

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Whoops!'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

I send greetings from the planet OOM!

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"I'm thinking seven days and I'll do it in real time."

'But that wasn't a beaker of acid! That was a cup of coffee from the cafeteria!'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

Mars Rover's wheels stolen.

"My little brother was too short to wear a sheet."

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

Obscure Constellations

Mooning Moon

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well