Celestial Photographer Gifts

"Just one quickie for all the doubters back home."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

The Big Tipper

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

An amplified harp

Sir Patrick Moore.

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

Celestial Navigation

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

God creating the galaxy.

You are everywhere.

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

"I'm your sun!"

Angel with speed camera.

'Whoops!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

Map of Solar System from Memory.

'He seems nice.'

Shoot for the moon or die in the vacuum of space

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

Budget Astronomy

Heaven will look great on our r