Celestial Dining Aficionados T-Shirts

"That reminds me – we're having Pisces in white wine sauce today for dinner."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Regular service or affected?"

"Expense account or regular?"

Wine taster with mineral water

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

'I love our decadence!'

Me, Alice and God

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."

Christmas canape?

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Foodie Bank

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

"Here, this might fit."

'I still don't know how you got a booking here Bryan.'

'Sure $16.95 is a lot for a burger and fries, but what can you do?'