Celestial Dining Aficionados Pillows

"That reminds me – we're having Pisces in white wine sauce today for dinner."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Expense account or regular?"

"Regular service or affected?"

Wine taster with mineral water

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Me, Alice and God

Heavenly Take Out

'I love our decadence!'

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

Foodie Bank

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

Christmas canape?

"We found we really missed going to the theatre and eating in nice restaurants, so we gave our kids away."

Pizza delivery to heaven.