Celestial Commuter Gifts

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"So big data in the cloud really exists!"

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

'Peace on...peace on...good heavens! Where are we?!'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Give Way To Cyclists

'Recalculating!'

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

"You two stop fighting...don't make me come back there!"

"Actually, when I wangled a transfer to the Los Angeles office, I expected palm trees and ocean."

Train to Mars

'And don't forget to do the laundry, and take the trash out... and there was one more thing I meant to tell you... mmm... oh well, it'll come to me later.'

Man Crosses Finish Line At Heaven's Pearly Gates

'When you've seen one star you've seen them all, but every episode of Bargain Hunt is different.'

'It's okay. I can telecommute.'

'Like I really needed to get caught in a tractor beam'

"Jupiter is in the Ram, which is bad news for the 17.23."

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'Let's face it - home shopping catalogues are marketed at old people...' - '...but with a bit of lateral thinking they could easily target busy young professionals.' - 'These 'bathing wipes', for example, mean I can now wash my lower half on the way to wo

Church Steeple Rocket

"Well, of course you feel like you are - We ARE all just going around in circles!"

"If we came here in a faster-than-light spaceship, shouldn't it be dark out?"

A Bus Conductor.

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

"A few more Hail Mary's would have seen you upgraded to premium-heaven."

"Did you pack the travel adaptor?"

"We're looking for water aren't we?"

'Well, I suppose it's all right. As long as it's a hybrid.'

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

"Screw heaven! When I die I'm going to Mars."

"But where are we supposed to go on holiday?"