Celestial Commuter Pillows

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

'Peace on...peace on...good heavens! Where are we?!'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Give Way To Cyclists

'Recalculating!'

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

Train to Mars

"You two stop fighting...don't make me come back there!"

"Actually, when I wangled a transfer to the Los Angeles office, I expected palm trees and ocean."

'And don't forget to do the laundry, and take the trash out... and there was one more thing I meant to tell you... mmm... oh well, it'll come to me later.'

Man Crosses Finish Line At Heaven's Pearly Gates

'It's okay. I can telecommute.'

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'Like I really needed to get caught in a tractor beam'

"Well, of course you feel like you are - We ARE all just going around in circles!"

'Let's face it - home shopping catalogues are marketed at old people...' - '...but with a bit of lateral thinking they could easily target busy young professionals.' - 'These 'bathing wipes', for example, mean I can now wash my lower half on the way to wo

"If we came here in a faster-than-light spaceship, shouldn't it be dark out?"

Church Steeple Rocket

"A few more Hail Mary's would have seen you upgraded to premium-heaven."

"We're looking for water aren't we?"

"Jupiter is in the Ram, which is bad news for the 17.23."

"Did you pack the travel adaptor?"

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

A Bus Conductor.

'Well, I suppose it's all right. As long as it's a hybrid.'

"Screw heaven! When I die I'm going to Mars."

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"

"But where are we supposed to go on holiday?"