Celestial Cinema Buff T-Shirts

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'It was a split decision.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'They come down here to smoke.'

"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"Any requests?"

Crescent moon...left - handed crescent moon

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."