Celestial Comedy Aficionado T-Shirts

God Telescope

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Halo Frisbee.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Shoe repair

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Heaven

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."