Celestial Cinema Buff Pillows

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'It was a split decision.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

"Any requests?"

Crescent moon...left - handed crescent moon

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."

Christmas canape?

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'