Celestial Comic Enthusiast Pillows

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

"Oh my god Mr. Bland, something's happened hasn't it ?"

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"All I'm saying is that you'd sell a lot more if you had Mary on the cover."

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'I miss the evildoers.'

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'They come down here to smoke.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'