Celestial Comic Appreciator Pillows

'I don't want to be a 'zero'.'

'Well, yeah, they're nice...but I kind of figured that we grew them when we got up here?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

New, Improved Cat

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"I've got pride but no shame."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

Self-Esteem Clinic.

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

'S**t!'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'