Cosmic Comic Appreciator Pillows

'Lose weight and they should drop out of orbit!'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Standings: Milky Way Conference

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'The Hubble telescope is providing us with incredibly distant images of a very early universe.'

"I've got pride but no shame."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

Self-Esteem Clinic.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

'S**t!'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

"There are tomato genes in the cod, spinach genes in the trout, carrot genes in the halibut..."

Cheerleaders from another planet

"Do we have any candy?"

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

"Whoa...Somehow I think I deleted too much."

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."

"So how are the natives - are they friendly?" "Why don't you ask Frank."

'You said to hurry, so we used amino acids instead of dust.'