Cosmic Comic Appreciator Pillows

'Lose weight and they should drop out of orbit!'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Sorry'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'The Hubble telescope is providing us with incredibly distant images of a very early universe.'

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

Self-Esteem Clinic.

"I've got pride but no shame."

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"Well, isn't this just great? I told you this planet was in a sketchy neighborhood."

'S**t!'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"There are tomato genes in the cod, spinach genes in the trout, carrot genes in the halibut..."

Well there's something you don't see every day...

Cheerleaders from another planet

"Are you nuts? This is what I do."

Pluto

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

"Do we have any candy?"

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

"Whoa...Somehow I think I deleted too much."

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'Hmmm...I think I know what he's saying here. Sometimes we manage to break through the walls that hold us back, only to find...another wall! Yes! I get it!'

"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."

Moon Dog at earth.