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Welcome to Scotland: Next Celebrity Guided Tour TV Program in 5 Mins.

World Tour.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Walking Luggage.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

Travellers

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

Cannibal: AHHHhh, SEASONED travellers! My FAVOURITE meal!

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

'It's your father. He says he's joining Bob Dylan's never ending tour.'

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

"These are my windscreen credits."

Backpacker

"Tarantino's here! Everybody run!"

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

Miss T-T

Maps to talk-show guests' homes.

"A movie deal, a recording contract, clothing line, rehab, first marriage, fragrance, baby, second marriage, reality show …"

Hollywood/Vine: 'Wow! Lassie was here! And Rin-Tin-Tin!'

When More Government Is A Good Thing

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

"When they get injured now, the physio goes on first followed by their stylist and image consultant..."

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

Janis

NYC Walking Tour

'Baldo, being on TV requires talent.'

"Take me to Joanna Lumley."

James Corden banned from restaurant for abusive behaviour.]

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

"Hackers uncover the on-hold doodles of George Clooney."

'People have told me that I bear a striking resemblance to a young Sean Connery.'

Man selling 'Maps to Stars for $5.00' next to lady selling 'Maps to People with 15 Minutes of Fame for 50 Cents'.