Concert Tour T-Shirts

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

A Symphony of Penguins

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Robert Fripp

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Cimafunk

Rhapsody in Blue.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Felix Mendelssohn

Anna Calvi

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

EWE 2.

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

George Michael

"This next one's another oldie."

I love my Timpani

Walking Luggage.

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

At the rock concert...

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

Taking a peek at the audience

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Motorherd

Elvis Presley

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Piano Recital

'Man, times have changed.'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."