Concerts T-Shirts

"Two Stones tickets, please, senior discount."

Things that bands can do

"And now a request from the audience."

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

Italica

David Roy Eldridge

'That one must be the dominant male'

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

JimmyFest 2006

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"Come on, you know the words! Bum bum bum bum!"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

Glastonbury: 'Paul McCartney's attracted some older visitors this year.'

'Dude, I've been in this band for over an hour now, and I haven't seen one groupie. Maybe punk rock is dead.'

'This next song is about setting boundaries, and how now I wish I had.'

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

Rod Stewart

Old rocker.

Rule Britannia!

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

"Have they started yet or is it my Tinnitus?"

At the rock concert...

The Three Tenners.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Johnny Cash Cow: 'I've got some great seats at the back.'

"It's dull now, but at the end they smash their instruments and set fire to the chairs."

Six jazz instruments.