Celebrity Spokesperson Gifts

Where Are They Now?

'How fast can you hype?'

"National security adviser"

Changing Minds

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Marilyn's Rushmore

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'We're out of duct tape.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Remember, a breakthrough is not a breakthrough unless you have some good P.R. for it.'

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

"I think he said he doesn't want to be your press secretary any more."

These remarks are completely off the record

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

Rich Cow: 'Simon Cowell'

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

'I was talking to that George Clooney yesterday. He is SUCH a name-dropper.'

"Hold on - I'm in the middle of one of Cher's fascinating political tweets."