Celebrity Spokesperson Gifts

Where Are They Now?

'How fast can you hype?'

"National security adviser"

Changing Minds

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

'We're out of duct tape.'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'Remember, a breakthrough is not a breakthrough unless you have some good P.R. for it.'

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

These remarks are completely off the record

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."