Celebrity Site Seeker Pillows

'Well professor, we have traced the villa back to a Keith Moon.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Get me public relations!'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

Restraining orders from the stars.

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"He loves to give autographs!"

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

"Five minutes, General."

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"Are you expecting someone, Caroline?"

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"

Maps to talk-show guests' homes.